i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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