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• (650): View more from California

  dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning

  (805): View more from California

  1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  I hate you

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• (281): View more from Texas

  After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.

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• (750): View more from

  Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls

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