i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
