I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i think i have two assholes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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