Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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