Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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