i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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