he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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