16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize