How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
