Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Terrible idea I love it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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