even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
