marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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