Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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