The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
