How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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