it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize