I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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