We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
