Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
