Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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