I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
