I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
