hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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