3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
