he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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