he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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