I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
