And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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