Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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