420 ftw
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
