and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
