my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
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corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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