Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
