Betty ford says i'm here all night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
