question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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