R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
