first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
