i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
