Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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