the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
