tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
birth control should be required to get into college
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
