i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
