Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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