just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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