hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
