So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
