I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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