I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
