there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
