What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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