Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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