So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
