I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize