Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
