I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
