the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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