i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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