I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
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Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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