I just saw a hot homeless man
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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