I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How external is "for external use only"?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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