So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
