you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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