i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
